JUDGEMENT

JUDGEMENT

Some people love to judge on everything around them. Just like nothing is good in their eyes, except themselves. I don’t know what make these people feel like they are perfect enough to judge on other.

“Damn, look at how she dressed up. What a disaster.”

“Her hair messed.”

“My goodness, who she thinks she is to stand up there.”

“He’s not qualified enough for me.”

“Your make up make you look like a ghost.”

I believe all of you had experienced this yourself. Someone, somewhere around you must be one of these people that have a “judgment” as their hobby. For me, these kinds of peoples are really annoyed. They talk like they are all perfect but were they? Actually, when they judge on other, that means that person has something that they don’t.

If they judge on how you dressed up, means she wants dressed up like you but she couldn’t. If she says the makeup doesn’t suit you, means you look gorgeous and she envy that. It’s very simple, right. She won’t say such thing if she didn’t feel unsecure of you. She talks like that to make herself feel better.

Well, it’s not easy to deal with this type of person. I have a friend who talking about this kind of stuff from the moment she wake up in the morning until she sleep at the night. My ears get tired of it. Everyone surround us are looking suck for her. While for me, those people she’s talking about just look fine and normal. I once asked her this….

“Why you get so fanatic on other people matters?”

“I’m saying this for their own goods.”

“Are you sure it works that way? Because I don’t see it’s just like what you say.”

“Well, maybe they are the one who can’t accept the truth. They feel they are good enough already, while the truth they’re not. Plus, they are just way too ego to admit what I’m saying were true.”

“Are you good enough to judge them? I’m saying this because the way I see is that some of them are better than you. You have to stop this. You are just making yourself being hate by them.”

When you judge on people, you’ll get nothing but being hate by them. What if they are judging on you. I bet you would feel the same too. Annoyed, uncomfortable and get pissed off that. Everyone has their own way of life.

I like purple but you like green.

I love movie and you love shopping.

I’m good at swimming but you’re good at ice-skating.

I’m allergic to seafood but that’s your favorite food.

I love reading but you hate books.

See?  We have our own life, right. What I love to do, doesn’t mean other should like it too. What I like, maybe it’s not something you would like too. Sometime we could be very different with someone but sometime we’re similar to someone. All we need is to respect each other as long as they don’t get over the line. Everyone have the right to choose what they want to be and which path they rather take.

You might feel the judgment as a positive way to giving an advice to someone. You should know, not all could accept such criticize. If you really want to advice on someone, let it be just between you and her. Don’t do it openly and let other know of it. It would bring shame to her. If you are her, you also don’t want it to be that way.

The best way is that try to accept everyone for who and how they exactly are. That would be better for all. Both her weaknesses and strengths, you accept it honestly. Try to understand them better instead of judge on them. Some people are really hard for you to approach them and get to know them. However, don’t ever assume of things that you yourself not sure about. Get to know them first, then, get to understand them. Everything would be ok.

TRIANGULAR LOVE

Recently, I got very interested into this topic. Maybe because I’m one of the victims, I guess. For love, everyone tend to do anything include stupid stuffs and nonsense things. We act beyond our wisdom. We never think of other matters. It’s all & only about him/her. Well, now I believe “love is blind”. That’s the fact. Tell me if any of you can prove that’s not true.

People used to criticize those who involved in “triangular love”. That’s normal scenario. We blame such people as a marriage or relationship “disaster”. I used to do the same things too. When I was in the secondary school, most of my seniors and friends get into this triangular love. At that time, what I did is I nagged them 24/7. A non-stop bubbling. I never care how much my words could smash their heart but what I care is that I don’t want they to act stupid just for one guy. I also pity of the other party. What I mean is the guy’s girlfriend. You might feel awful too, right? If you beloved one cheat in your relationship.

        As I grew up, many things I’ve learned about this life. My perception turns around for 360’ degree as I start to understand the real rules of life. Maybe the God want to show to me, what I did to my seniors and friends back then was unacceptable. He wants me to understand that everything happen for reason. No matter how much we say this “I completely understand you” to anyone, believe me…you’re not! Unless you are in their shoes, just then you’ll understand. Life is karma. What comes around goes around. This happened to me myself.

Before, I used to hate one girl. She’s the girl that my ex-boyfriend left me for. I do forgive her for that, but to forget about it, that’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done back then. I hate the fact that wasn’t I good enough that he rather choose her instead of me. All because of that thought, I never have a word with him since we broke up. How could I face him after the hardship I’ve been through because of the rumors. Since that I get trauma of “triangular love” and I feel pissed off if I ever heard of it happen to any of my friend. I got very sensitive of the issue.

However, God is very fair. He knows that I would never understand this situation until I experienced it myself. Here they story begin. I know this one guy. We start from a friend before turn to BFF. I don’t know when and how then I start to fall for him. It happened just like that. Not even I realized it at first. We’re very close. I know from the very start, he has a girlfriend. So, I decide to forget about him and let go all the feeling fade away. I thought it would be easy but it’s never easy! The more I tried to forget, the harder it is for me. So, I told him honestly that I want to forget him. Surprisingly, he makes things even harder. He confessed he loves me too.

Then, we decided to have a “secret relationship”. Never thought that I could do something like this, but I did! Knowing all the risks and consequences, I still with my decision to carry on this relationship.

This post I specially wrote to tell all of those girls outside there, never enter into a “triangular love”. It is damn hurting! Some like me could stand and bear it, but not all girls could stand this kind of relationship.

 Why I say it’s hurting?

1.  
He’s your but no one knows about it. Not even your friend knows. Don’t tell me you don’t feel anything when he smile and told the other “we’re just friend”. You feel like you want to shout out loud and tell everyone that you’re in relationship with him, but you couldn’t do that. Not because you don’t have the courage but if you do that, you know you’ll loss him.

2. 

   All you could do is just stand there and watch it in the highest level of patience. He’s with the other girls. Taking intimate photos together with those girls. Joking and hang out together. You want to stop that but suddenly you realize you don’t have the right to do so. You feel it that way because you know where exactly you are standing right now. You want to speak about that to him but again you couldn’t say a word as you know who you are for him. Just a little secret of him.

3.    

You hate the time. You’ll hardly find the right time for you to date with him. You can’t do that openly. It has to remain as a secret. You’ll only able to be with him maybe once in a month, that if you are lucky enough to have the chance. Even when you’re in the middle of the date, you’ll find it’s very uncomfortable with he keeps on looking around to make sure no one could have seen both of you together. Even if one person might see, you’ll finish. That would be the end.

4.   It’s killing you to see his girlfriend. Jealous, guilty and feeling down will pouching your heart. When he’s with you but he’s texting her all the time, your heart gets burn of jealous. What more if you see they together, you will fall on you knee. All you could do is crying in your heart. You’ll see how much the difference between on how he treats her with how he treats you. You will hate the fact that she’s everything for him. That would make you feel you’re nothing for him. Just a piece of his life.

5.    

Everything he did to you would remind you to his girlfriend. Why? If he kissed you, automatically you will think “this is how he kissed her too”. If he hug you, you know he hug her too. He says he loves you, deeply in your heart you know he loves her more than he loves you. He threw a surprise birthday party for you as a FRIEND only, but he throw a birthday party for her as her BOYFRIEND. When he’s with you, she’s always in her mind, but when he’s with her you’re totally out of his mind. Not even a single message from you would be replied. Sometime you’ feel that you’re the substitute of her for him.

6.   When he’s with her, he doesn’t want you to contact with him. No call no message. It’s just like you should be vanished the moment they are together. At the same time, you having a war with yourself to think back of you should never enter into this. The whole day you’ll think of it over and over again, trying to imagine what might they are doing right now. Does he hug her? Did they kiss? Believe me that you’ll hate the answer!

Girls, I really hope no one would go through the same thing as I do now. It’s kind of tiring, exhausted and hurting a lot. I really want to get out of this relationship but I’m not strong enough for that. I can’t move even a step to leave him. But, to stay sometime I feel it’s just too hard for me. I feel guilty towards her. What I did, I shouldn’t never do it. I’m hurting someone that I’m not supposed to hurt. No reason for that. Whatever it would cost, I won’t let her know about this. Ever! The moment I walk away from him, it’s the full stop of everything. I don’t know when the time might come & how long it would take but I promise I will go on my own. If one day, you she knows about this, I hope she’ll forgive me. If she can’t, I won’t blame her because I understand the pain she might get.

For him, having you in my life is the best moment I ever had. You’re amazing guy. When you say you can’t choose between me and her, I know you’re saying that just to make me feel better. I know you love her so much. It’s something that I can’t deny. I don’t know what you might feel if I turn away from you later, but what I want is only one thing. Please never stop me from leaving you. That’s all I wish for. This story is not about us. It’s you and her. Nothing would change that.

p/s : If you read this, please try to understand why I have to leave.....

Women...

If you kiss her,

you are not a gentleman

If you don't,

you are not a man

If you praise her,

she thinks you are lying

If you don't,

you are good for nothing

If you agree to all her likes,

you are a wimp

If you don't,

you are not understanding

If you visit her often,

she thinks you are boring

If you don't,

she accuses you of double-crossing

If you are well dressed,

she says you are a playboy

If you don't,

you are a dull boy

If you are jealous,

she says it's bad

If you don't,

she thinks you do not love her

If you attempt a romance,

she says you didn't respect her

If you don't,

she thinks you do not like her

If you are a minute late,

she complains it's hard to wait

If she is late,

she says that's a girl's way

If you visit another man,

you're not putting in "quality time"

If she is visited by another woman,

"oh it's natural, we are girls"

If you kiss her once in a while,

she professes you are cold

If you kiss her often,

she yells that you are taking advantage

If you fail to help her in crossing the street,

you lack ethics

If you do,

she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction

If you stare at another woman,

she accuses you of flirting

If she is stared by other men,

she says that they are just admiring

If you talk,

she wants you to listen

If you listen,

she wants you to talk

In short:

So simple, yet so complex

So weak, yet so powerful

So confusing, yet so desirable

So damning, yet so wonderful... ....WOMEN!

Cinta Segi Tiga Bermuda..(^__^)...

CINTA “SEGI TIGA BERMUDA”

Pernah tak korang alami situasi macam ni….:

Si A ni sayang giler2 kat korang..tapi pada masa yang sama lak…korang sayang tahap dewa angkasa kat Si B….malangnya si B ni lak main tarik tali ngan korang. Nak mcm tak nak je…Lebih haru lagi bila si B ni dah ada special one. Cara dia layan korang lak buat korang simpan harapan segunung everest.

Aku bajet ramai yang PERNAH alami situasi macam ni…sebab aku pun pernah ga…(^__^)…muahahaha…Bila aku toleh sekeliling, memang ramai la mangsa2 senasib macam aku. Tersepit…dan tak tau nak buat apa.

Aku ngan sorang BFF aku ni suka cakap pasal cinta cintun ni…..Alaa..a gurl stuff la kiranya. Bukan bergossip tauuuu…kita ni tak main umpat2 belakang…hehehe…so,banyak “forum & debat” antara aku ngan dia…satu ayat dia yang agak terkesan kat hati aku laaa….

“Why muz it be this hard to try to love someone that truly loves us? And why we always love someone that’s not ours?”

Terkedu gak la aku time tu. Mulut aku yang macam mesin bercakap ni tiba2 lak jadi bisuuuu…Agaknya sebab aku terasa kot..hahaha..agak laa…Apa yang dia kata tu memang hempap otak aku la…terkena ngam2. Lama aku fikirkan ayat dia tu…sampai aku jumpa jawapan ni. Tak tau la jawapan aku ni relevan atau tak tapi…bagi pihak aku la…I feel it that way…

JANGAN SESEKALI CUBA @ BELAJAR MENCINTAI ORANG YANG KORANG TAK CINTA…SEBABNYA:….

1.    Korang bagi harapan kosong sebenarnya.

Bila korang kata nak bagi si dia harapan…tau tak betapa gembiranya dia. Siap sampai atuk moyang dia pun tau pasal tuuu….dia heboh kat member2 memang kecoh gempak laaaa..Ye laa….bayangkan selama ni dia memang tunggu peluang untuk ngan korang..tub2..korang lak bagi dia peluang. Orang ngantuk disorongkan bantal… Sumpah…malam tu kompem dia tak dapat tido. Senyum memanjang….sampai dah macam orang kena sampuk sawan. Ni semua..korang punya pasal laaaa…konon2nya mimpi jadik kenyataan la bagi dia. Macam2 dia plan utk buat korang bahagia….ajak jalan2 la…shopping la…tgok movie la…buat birthday surprise la….macam2 lagi laa….semata-mata nak buat korang bahagia bersama dia….Then sampai suatu masa...korang lak buat hal….kata yang korang dah tak mampu nak teruskan hubungan tuuu…sebab HATI KORANG MEMANG BUKAN UNTUK DIA DARI AWAL LAGI….senang2 je cakap mcm tu…korang tak fikir pun kesan nya kat dia nanti…bukan setakat terluka teruk tapiiii….hati dia dah macam kena blender…lumatttt….dah tau memang korang tak sayangkan dia dari awal2…so, kenapa nak cuba something yang korang memang tau IMPOSSIBLE?....Memang la tak salah mencuba..& ada ga la yang berjaya dalam belajar menyayangi orang yang dia tak pernah cinta dulu…tapi ratingnya SANGAT rendah…a.k.a..special case kot…kalau betul nak bagi dia peluang pun..tak payah ckap..try dlm diam….bila korang dah berjaya sayangkan si dia…then baru gtau si dia…itu kan lebih baik… terlambat atau tidak….itu lain kira…as long as korang x lukakan hati dia dengan beri harapan kosong….

2.    KORANG AKAN RASA TERSEKSA SEBAB TIPU DIA & DIRI KORANG SENDIRI.

Percayalah…bukan mudah nak belajar sayangkan seseorang. Apa lagi, if dalam hati korang sebenarnya sayangkan orang lain. Buat macam ni…dah macam hipokrit…ehh..bukan macam..tapi memang hipokrit pun. Cuba fikir..seronok ke if hidup BERPURA-PURA. Mesti la tak, kan. Korang sendiri yang akan terseksa nanti….korang cuba cuba..cuba..& cuba lagi tapi tetap gagal. Ini yang akan buat korang depressed tahap gantung diri. Bila korang gagal..mesti korang akan rasa bersalah sangat2 kat dia. Tu yang akan buat korang simpati kat dia….& dari situ la wujudnya CINTA ATAS DASAR SIMPATI. Fikir dulu..korang nak ke if orang yang korang sayang tu terima korang atas dasar simpati?..Kalau korang tak nak…dia pun sah2 tak nak korang cintakan dia atas dasar simpati. Fahamilah dia..at least sebagai seorang kawan….jangan balas cinta dia dengan something yang melukakan dia.

3.    DIA HANYALAH SANDARAN HATI KORANG SEBAB TAK DAPAT ORANG YANG KAMU SAYANG.

Bunyi macam kejam kan?...tapi itulah kenyataan nya. Ye la, bila korang tak dapat orang yang korang suka….korang perlukan orang untuk mengubati luka tu…dan korang tahu..satu-satunya yang akan sentiasa menerima korang adalah dia….KAdang2 tu memang la dia kata ok je…if korang sayangkan orang lain & perlukan masa utk belajar syangkan dia…tapi…ikut logic akal la…MUSTAHIL dia tak terasa atau sedih. Nak tunjuk kat korang yang dia tu sedih sebenarnya..memang tak la…Dia nak korang hepi je. Besar pengorbanan dia tapi kita tak nampak…Dia tau kita sayangkan orang lain…tipu kalau dia tak terkilan dengan kenyataan tu. Jasad kita ngan dia tapi hati kita lak kat tempat lain….Sedarlah…bahawa apa yang kita buat tu…hanya akan menambah buruk kan lagi keadaan…

Ni semua pendapat aku laa..hasil research aku ngan keadaan member2 aku yang nazak dalam situasi ini. Cinta bukan untuk dicari tau….sebab ia akan datang tak bersebab. Kita takkan tau kita sayangkan seeorang tu hingga lah kita rasa hidup ni sunyi tanpa dia. Bila kita rasa sakit lihat dia bahagia ngan orang lain. Kita takkan dapat agak bila..siapa..bagaimana..& di mana kita kan jumpa ngan cinta….

So…jangan sesekali bagi harapan kat seseorang tu selagi korang tak yakin korang mampu mengotakan nya suatu saat nanti. Penantian itu menyakitkan…jangan biarkan dia menanti terlalu lama. Jawapan yang jujur mungkin akan buat dia terluka..tapi percayalah….dia lagi terluka kalau dia tau korang sebenarnya tak sayangkan dia tapi mulut kata sayang…kadang2 berkawan itu penyelesaian terbaik. Hari esok tu kita serahkan padaNya…Dia lebih tahu yang terbaik untuk kita…..